I awoke with a start. "What was the final vote in Maine?" my my instant thought. I checked my computer, sitting beside my bed, it was open to the election results for the State of Maine. After some reloading, and waiting, I got my answer.
Yes.
Yes was bad.
"F*@k"
Once again, we lose a popular vote. As I had done in 2006 with Virginia, and 2008 with California, I sit down to write down words of encouragement, to not slide into bitterland myself, that (as I say to many people about change in general) progress is not fast, it is not easy, and there is always strong resistance for those who fear/loathe it. We have seen it with women's suffrage, we have seen it with African American civil rights, as well as inter-racial marriage. This road is long, hard, and filled with powerful opponents. We have seen the Bible used by many as an agent against change in each of those movements, and this one is no different. This will take time. A whole lot of patience and time.
I could take solace that Washington passed a "separate but equal" measure for gay equality. I could take solace that other states, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa all have Gay Marriage/Civil Unions on the books. (I mean... IOWA people!). I can take solace that as the Children of the baby boomers come of age, the attitude towards gay equality is heavily in our favor. And the younger generation, now just coming of age to vote (but another decade until many of them will exercise it) are even more accepting of gay equality.
But 3:30 in the morning was not the right time to read that result. I was annoyed, enraged at this result. Why do people, who have no business about my, or any gay person's, personal life get to dictate what I can and cannot do? Why does the LGBT community have to ask "pretty please" to everyone in this country personally if they can marry and share the same rights as my straight brother and sister? I thought conservatism was about government staying out of your personal life... that is unless they feel they need to impose a false moral authority on you. Maine said, "Give us legal marijuana." (by 58%!!) and then said, "But don't lets the queers marry" what is that? Seriously? Think about that. 6% of those people who said, "we want medical marijuana" said, "but fuck the queers... but not literally though, because I ain't queer." (I jest, but still). That fact floored me.
But, where does that lead me? Sitting here, awake and alone at 4:30 in the morning, and nothing has changed, only my thoughts and my cats to accompany me.
I march ever on. Steel myself for the next day, to put on that face, and say... the road is long, and we can do it. We will continue to pass laws, and pass them until they stick. Gay marriage is not over in Maine, it is delayed. We will continue to engage the court system, and biding our time for the indefensible court case that will give us the equality we have long since waited for.
This is not just about marriage. Let us be clear. Marriage is the most visible and controversial aspect of this push. Marriage is what raises the hackles of the "righteous" religious. Marriage is the full monty. If we have marriage, we have equality... in the eyes of the law of the United States. Not God, not Allah, but within the bedrock of the soul and heart of the United States. Our rights, as laid out in the Constitution, that states must recognize legal contracts from other states, to the 13th Amendment, that every native born person in the United States will have equal protection and rights under the law. From Seneca Falls, to Brown v. Board of Education, to Stonewall, the march to fulfilling the Constitution's promise will continue for a long time. We are always striving for a more perfect union. The road is never finished.
You can't change the world on a dime. It doesn't take a single night, or 11 months, or even 8 years. Change is slow, frustrating, and hard. There are strides forward, and setbacks... always. In 12 years, we went from Hawaii's attempt at gay marriage in 1997, to 5 states having gay marriage in 2009. It took 30 years for 4 states to grant women's suffrage (Utah had it, it was taken away by congress, and then reinstated later). This was after painful defeats in Kansas and New York.
30 years.
And even then, they could only vote at the State level, that took another 20-50 years.
We are moving forward, and believe it or not... time is on our side.
Don't lose hope that we can achieve what we are striving for.